Top

How Complaining Rewires Your Brain For Negativity (And How To Break The Habit)


share this page https://goo.gl/sFHYX1







FREE smartphone QR code reader












Posted on 2016/07/11
TAGS: ANXIETY, BRAIN CHANGES, WORRYING


by Annie Wood via Tiny Buddha


“Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any better.” ~Unknown

When I was about sixteen or so, one of my parent’s friends got into some trouble with the law. When we’d visit him he’d often shake his head from side to side and mumble, my life is in the toilet.

He said it many times, for many years, even when things seemed to have gotten better for him.

My life is in the toilet was his mantra.

At the time I thought it was funny, so I adopted it for myself, until one day I started to believe it. I’ve since dumped that charming phrase and gotten a new mantra.

Things haven’t magically become ideal for me since I did that. I mean, there’s this pinched nerve in my neck and those construction sounds across the street, and I could really use some more work, and…
Type of Drains

Everyone complains, at some point, at least a little, says Robin Kowalski, PhD, a professor of psychology at Clemson University.

There are different types of complainers, according to Kowalski, such as The Venter. The Venter is a “dissatisfied person who doesn’t want to hear solutions, however brilliant.”

Venting. We’re just letting off steam, right? Maybe not. I’ve personally found that the complain drain can be soul draining, not just for the complainer, but for all within earshot.

Other types you may have met along the way (or may be yourself) are the Sympathy Seekers, the I got it worse than you do, and the habitual everything sucks folks.

The Chronic Complainers, those living in a state of complaint, do something researchers call “ruminating.” This basically means thinking and complaining about a problem again and again. Instead of feeling a release after complaining, this sort of complaining can actually make things worse. It can cause even more worry and anxiety.

No one is suggesting you be a peachy-keen-Josephine and pretend all is swell when it isn’t. What I’ve learned in my mindfulness practice is to aim to do the opposite.

In mindfulness meditation, we try to experience fully the truth of the situation, in this exact moment, and allow it to just be. Easier said than done (but what isn’t?) Still, with practice, the need to express our dissatisfaction for things not being how we’d like them to be lessens.
Can’t We Just Call Roto-Rooter?

Running with this drain analogy…

Call Roto-Rooter, that’s the name and away go troubles down the drain!

Sad girl

When I was a kid I loved singing along to those Roto-Rooter commercials. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could “away go troubles down the drain?” Well, maybe we can.

Most of us may have been unintentionally reinforcing the nasty habit of complaining, by virtue of… complaining.

There’s something called “experience-dependent neuroplasticity,” which is the continuing creation and grouping of neuron connections in our brains that take place as a result of our life experiences.

Neuroscience teaches us that neurons that fire together, wire together. Donald Hebb, a Canadian neuropsychologist, coined that phrase back in 1949. What this means is that whenever we think a thought or have a feeling or physical sensation, thousands of neurons are triggered and they all get together to form a neural network.

With repetitive thinking, the brain learns to trigger the same neurons each time.

So, if you keep your mind looping on self-criticism, worries, and how nothing is working out for you, your mind will more easily find that part of your brain and will quickly assist you in thinking those same thoughts again.

This shapes your mind into greater reactivity, making you more vulnerable to anxiety.

Imagine a truck driving down a muddy road. The wheels create a groove in the mud, and each time that truck drives down that exact spot, the groove gets deeper and deeper.

The truck might even, eventually, get stuck in that mud rut. But it doesn’t have to. Instead of repeating the same negative complaints, we can drive our thoughts on a different road so we don’t get stuck in that negative mud rut.

Throughout our lives we are wiring our brains, based on our repetitive thinking. We get good at what we practice.

If we worry, creating more unease and anxiety, we become stellar worriers since our brain is responding, making it easier for us to worry each time we do it, thus creating our default mode living.

Default mode living is our habitual way of going about our lives. It’s our reacting minds as opposed to corresponding minds.

Our reacting minds are often knee-jerk reactions to something. We often say or do things that we’ve said and done in the past, as if we were in that default mode living, on automatic pilot. But our responding minds come into play when we give ourselves a pause before responding to a situation.

We ask ourselves what’s really going on and what the next best step is. It’s a clearer response in the moment that’s not linked to past responses. So, how do we respond instead of react?
4 D.I.Y. Tips – Stop The Drain!

You’re stuck in traffic and not only are you complaining out loud to the cars that are in your way, you’re imagining getting home and complaining to tell your significant other all about it. You’re practicing this conversation in your head while in the car. Your heart races, your forehead tenses up. It’s all so very annoying! What to do?





Video














Related articles





















share this page












Other stuff









Media Channels



Recommended Events

Approved Events: open page to sort by columns

Event YY.mm.dd / LocationIndustry / ThemeCost (L M H) / Durationwhy goName / link
2019.06.23 / Bangkok Photos with models - rooftop 5000 exclusive timeslot and lunch unique  fbk page bkk tourism - invite details 
2019.05.04 /  Comedy / Magner Festiva low  fbk group bkk nightlife 
2019.04.06 Bts Asok Comedy - International Jimmy Carr med -  in 2016 he rocked Bangkok fbk bkk nightlife 
2019.03.04  Comedy low  GLOBAL ROAST BATTLE PHENOMENON--YOUR HOOD'S A JOKE. fbk bpac  
2019.02.21 to 24 Bts Phloen Chit Garden Fair - Nai Lert Flower & Garden Art Fair 2019 low - 150 bt astonishing - heritage home TB events: Nai Lert Park Heritage Home บ้านปาร์คนายเลิศ 
2019.02.16 / Saraburi 9am to 9pm Social: Meet Locals day trip low - day trip activities Thai and Foreigners mixing it up TML: Saraburi hypo 
2019.01.26 / Suk Soi 19 Comedy / 5 star Westin Grand Hotel low international at Westin Grand Hotel Stand up Asia - fbk invite 
2018.12 30 days Dusit Festival - Aoon Ai Rak Warm love Free Thai Costume / heritage Warm love AoonAiRak 
2018.12.19 / Suk Soi 13 Comedy / battle off the best low  huge gig  fbk grp bkk nightlife 
Showing 9 items from page Approved Events sorted by Event YY.mm.dd / Location. View more »


Places visited  


Where we have been link

why try .. . see places of interest, sort table by any column


Bangkok Hospitality & Tourism

Donate Photos, videos to to our Community Groups

Become a Roaming reporter how it works



News
  • Duty Free receipt - urgent warning Tourist issues urgent warning to Australian travellers after finding a 'very concerning' detail on his duty-free alcohol receipt - and reveals why you should NEVER throw them away Tourist issues ...
    Posted 18 Jul 2019, 20:54 by Happi Mess
  • 69 Profound Confucius Quotes for Life, Love and Laugh in HappiMess If you’ve ever studied Chinese history, you’ve undoubtedly heard of the great philosopher Confucius.Not only have his words of wisdom had an enormous impact on Chinese society ...
    Posted 11 Jul 2019, 20:17 by Happi Mess
  • Strong Women prefer to be Single “I believe in strong women. I believe in the woman who is able to stand up for herself. I believe in the woman who doesn’t need to hide behind ...
    Posted 2 Jul 2019, 20:59 by Happi Mess
  • Pills That Make Farts Smell Nice from France A French company claims to have invented a pill that can make your farts smell nice.Yep, we all know someone who could use that, right? By the way, if ...
    Posted 26 Jun 2019, 02:15 by Happi Mess
  • Bangkok club killing patrons and selling as meat Bangkok Police has shut down a nightclub, Asia 44 Nightclub, in the city of Bangkok after investigation uncovered that the owner killed patrons of the facility and served to others ...
    Posted 19 Jun 2019, 21:06 by Happi Mess
Showing posts 1 - 5 of 241. View more »









Feedback / faults








email ftb@austhai.biz pls incl page url




Master Index Tourism Bangkok

Industry and ThemeName & URLMain Function
Transport: Major Stations Tourism Major Transport Stations Skytrain, Subway, River 
Newbies: Introduction to Bangkok "Novice to Advanced" Novice to Pro 
BTS (skytrain) Stations BTS Directory Map / Menu / Attractions / Food & Drink 
Tourism web tools tips and tricks useful web tools 
Discounts / Promotions Discount - Promos - Specials Promotions / Specials / Discount Cards 
Showing 5 items from page Master Directory Tourism Bangkok sorted by edit time. View more »